Truly He taught us to love one another.

His law is LOVE.

  Oh man. This past Sunday I had so much going on, I was contemplating whether or not I should just stay at home and get caught up on some things or go to church. I decided to go to church and I think it was more of I was lead to make the decision to go to church. Within minutes of the service starting I was convicted. Like a lot.
  The series we started this past week was The Gift of Forgiveness. After hearing that, my immediate thought was "crap." There had been a lot of internal stuff going on that past week and I knew God was trying to address how to handle it. "If there is anyone who should be quick to forgive, it should be us who have received the ultimate forgiveness". BOOM we're getting right down to business and not wasting any time. Isn't that so true though? Like we are all such horrible imperfect human beings and Jesus died so that we could be forgiven of all of that. Who are we to not forgive those who have wronged us? IT'S HARD! I know it is. I battle with it constantly. Sometimes you literally have to give things/ people up to God repeatedly so that you're free of them and the flood of emotions they bring.
  
  1 Samuel 24:12-13
May the LORD judge between you and me. May He punish you for your actions against me, but MY hand will not be against you. The saying says "out of the sinful comes sin". 

  1 Peter 3:8-9
All of you be of one mind, sympathetic, lovers of your fellow believers, compassionate and modest in your opinion of yourselves. Don't pay back evil with evil or insult for insult. Instead, give BLESSING in return. You were called to do this so you might inherit a blessing.

God calls us to bless those who curse us.. SO not our natural instinct, or at least not mine! Love your brother or sister who wronged you and let God handle the rest. I'm still learning how to perfect this tactic.

  Psalm 103:10-12
  He does not repay us according to our sins or repay us according to our wrongdoing because as high as heaven is above the earth, that's how large God's faithful love is for those honor Him. As far as the east is from the west -- that is how far God has removed our sin from us.

  Isaiah 43:24-25
  You did not buy Me gifts with your money or satisfy Me with your sacrifices, instead you have burdened Me with your sins and wearied Me with your evil actions. I am the one who wipes out your rebellious behavior for My sake. I won't remember your sin anymore.

Thank You GOD! Those were so personal to me. I'm always so hard on myself. Sometimes I forget God doesn't love me any less if I screw some things up. -- though that doesn't give us the excuse to live in ways that are against how we're taught to live through the Bible, but if we accidentally get lost .. God is still going to be the same loving Father He always is. His love never changes. I know I need to stop beating myself up about some things AND we need to do the same for other people too!  

  Colossians 3:12-13
So as God's chosen one, holy and loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Be tolerant with each other and if someone has a complaint against anyone, forgive each other. As the Lord forgave you, also forgive each other.

DANG, hurts so good.

  Luke 17:3-4
 Watch yourselves! If your brother or sister sins, warn them to stop. If they change their hearts, forgive them. Even if someone sins against you 7 times in one day and returns to you 7 times and says "I am changing my ways" you must forgive that person.

God also commands us to forgive repeatedly. Another toughie. Yikes.


Basically it was a GREAT sermon at the Austin Stone by Matt Carter.


I know I'm giving the gift of forgiveness to some people this Christmas.
God has so generously helped me restore some friendships in my life that He didn't have to. Redemption is just the coolest thing. Seeing something completely broken turn into something beautiful and filled with glory that points to the Lord.

When I come back in the new year I want to start trying out different churches. Not because anything is wrong with Austin Stone, I love that place. I'll probably be there often regardless if I find another church to go to. That was my plan in the beginning but I didn't get to do as much of that as I would have liked because of football season. I just don't want to pass something by that could also be great for me. If there are any churches in the New Braunfels/ Austin area that you've been to and suggest I try, let me know! Also, FRIENDS if you want to tag along on any of my weekend adventures to try these new places in the spring, I would love to have you!

My Miracle On 34 Street

Hello world! I bet some of you are anxious to hear how the New York trip went. For those of you who don't know, my dance team, the Texas State University Strutters had the privilege of "Kickin' in the Macy's Parade" this Thanksgiving.
Surprisingly there was a lot of stuff throughout the trip that tried to get me down, like it was really weird how "off" the week was for me. I always try to be aware of what the enemy is trying to ruffle me up over. I seemed pretty alert, so most of the weeks events I just shook off and moved on. It's so hard to not be grateful to God in the midst of everything when you're in New York and dancing on national television.

So from the top. After already experiencing some roughness that morning, we packed up a bus and then flew out of the Austin airport. Then we arrived in New York! We got picked up by another bus and before we even got off at our hotel we saw Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Biel. A day in the life. We had dinner in Times Square and then had some team meetings before bed. -- which we never really slept that week. Like at all. Like we got back to Texas almost a week ago and I'm still dragging because of New York week. But anyways, got up SUPER early then went to the Statue of Liberty! That was a fun day. I did my first street bargain for a designer bag that day. -- a proud moment for me.

That night we had rehearsal with NBC for the parade. This was when we all discovered the texture of the floor we were dancing on and the (lack of) friction with our dance boots. I actually bruised my tailbone this night. Kind of comical, kind of embarrassing and kind of disastrous considering I had to dance for tv just a few days after. Almost a week later it still hurts, but God is good and when Thanksgiving day came I ran off adrenaline and ignored it. On the plus side, when I got hurt the NBC camera people asked me if I was ok. I can't tell if that makes me cool because they talked to me or a loser because they saw my little slip up. Whatever.
The next morning the team went to Radio City Music Hall for their Christmas Spectacular featuring the Radio City Rockettes. I am like obsessed with the Rockettes. They're beautiful. And talented. The whole show was so inspiring, and they had the nativity story as part of the show and that just really made me love it even more. It was the 85th celebration for the Rockettes and I'm super glad I got to be there for it.

After the show we were let loose to go shopping and explore the concrete jungle that is New York. I went to FAO Schwarz-- a really neat toy and candy store, H&M along with a billion other stores on 5th avenue then I ventured into Rockefeller Plaza where I got to see the big tree! Fun times for sure.

The morning after that Strutters performed for Spirit of America dance & cheer. Another side note, my little sister got to be a part of the parade too through Spirit of America. So she got to see me perform, and my high school dance director was there too! I had so many people I loved with me in New York.
After our performance we went and shopped at Macy's! What a blessing to be able to dance for that huge company. I obviously purchased some new clothing while I was there :) we also walked around and visited some other stores, but Macy's was just so festive.

That night we went to Mamma Mia on broadway! It was the night before parade day and we didn't get back from the show until 11 that night, but it was worth it. The show was so fun, and because of my obsession with the A*Teens back in the day I knew all of the ABBA songs.

Then after a few hours of no sleep.. IT'S PARADE DAY! So much excitement throughout our hotel with all of the performers getting amped up so early in the morning. We took the subway to the parade route and began warming up. -- During this time Jimmy Fallon took a picture of the Strutters. Yup.
I also ran into sista. We got to feel like celebs that morning. We had people recording us and taking pictures of us because everyone thought it was insane that two sisters were in this parade with two completely different organizations. Saying we are blessed doesn't cover it. I'm so thankful to the Lord that we both got this opportunity. To Him be all of the glory. We worked our tails off to get there, but we still wouldn't have made it if God didn't do such mighty things for us. We missed our family that day, but they did such a great job cheering us on from Texas and South Carolina.
THANK YOU to everyone else who helped us live out this dream, your contributions and prayers and support all had an impact. So grateful for the kind hearts of those around me. All of the text messages after really made me realize what a great support system I have. Your sweet notes made my day and made me miss being home. But I had an incredible Thanksgiving in New York. After the parade (which was FREEZING by the way) the team piled up and we went and got some barbecue for our Thanksgiving meal and we watched our performance along with some footage of us throughout parade day -- so much went on that morning that national television didn't get to see. We spent Thanksgiving day basically laughing at ourselves. OH! We ran by Carly Rae Jepsen that morning. Can't forget that little detail.

I'm sure I left some parts out. Everything was so fast paced in New York -- now I know why God gave me some down time the day before I flew out. It was all kind of like a blur, all of the days meshed together because of the lack of sleep and we were ALWAYS doing something. You see the pictures of all the fun stuff we got to do, but there was also work being done every day we were there. We had rehearsals and meetings that took up time to. I'm so happy to be back home, but my trip to New York was a blast. Thanks again to everyone who supported me last week! Much love to all of you.

"I'll take you to my quiet waters. I'll restore your soul. Come rest in me and be made whole."

HELLO EVERYONE! Hope I am finding you all well on this wonderful day.
I had an extremely bizarre morning/ afternoon. I woke up and God was like "Let's go on an adventure!" So I literally woke up, put on some shoes and a sweatshirt and walked out the door with no clue what the day's plans consisted of. He was taking me on a date, it was exciting. We started out our day together getting some carrot cake pancakes (with a cream cheese topping of course). I'm addicted to all sorts of pancakes, even my Heavenly Daddy knows that. Then I took the pancakes and ate/ had quiet time at this cute little place by the lake. (Please keep in mind this adventure has led me out of my cute little town at this point. We weren't holding back!). From my point of view, I'm soaking up every sacred moment with my Heavenly Father. To the average onlooker I'm this weird chick who's eating pancakes by herself. Story of my life.
I thought my time and view of the lake was nice from where I was sitting up top. After I had quiet time I felt led to go on a walk. Also keep in mind that I'm still not in a place that I'm familiar with. I also am known for getting lost. Not sure what I was thinking. I've found myself to be a little more adventurous and brave lately. Part of it was this wasn't exactly my agenda to begin with, so I sort of rolled with it.
ANYWAYS, so I start to go on a jog in this foreign area and I'm like ok.. why did You bring me all the way here just to go on a jog. Like I do that at home all the time?

                                                So I walk and then I find this secret place under a bridge.

First I see this. I kind of have a nack for that artsy kind of stuff. So I was like ok, cool. Then I keep walking down and then I see..

THIS.

Except I was a lot closer. I went up top to get a better view so yall could get a better feel of the whole picture. I was like OH HOW NEAT! I was so excited, I wasn't expecting that.. at all. So after playing around there for a bit I kept walking into this unknown land. And just when I thought it couldn't get any better I found another place. Completely tucked away. I didn't get a very good picture of it because I couldn't get a wide shot of it, but I sat there, laid my head back and relaxed on a big rock and just soaked up God's awesomness. It was incredible. Absolutely incredible. He LITERALLY led me beside still waters. (Psalm 23:2)  God still gets cray in 2012 ya'll. Don't underestimate Him.

After THAT, I found a trail. 

(Like.. what? I don't know where I am.. how the heck did I just find a trail..)

During my first quiet time I had read part of Isaiah "The Lord will guide you always."..weird"He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." Isaiah 58:11

And then He led me to a trail which took me to places like this.

This past week I had a day where I was sort of in panic mode wondering if needs would be met etc. It really freaked me out there for a little bit. Then today happened. I was completely filled. THE LORD WILL SATISFY YOUR NEEDS IN A SUN-SCORCHED LAND -- YES!

He has and He will!

The views just kept getting better and better as the day progressed. It was crazy.

I went through a period of about two years where I felt like every huge monumental breaking point in a person's life happened. I know I still have a lot more of those to go, it's a part of growing up. Life is slowly getting to a better place each day. It's like He was telling me .. "Hey, keep on going.. things get better!"  Like, my life is great right now. It truly is. Is it perfect and do I still wish I could change some things? Of course. No matter how great your life is, life is hard! But God has great things waiting on the other side. "Greater things have yet to come" is my mindset these days. 

I was just having so much fun on this adventure with the Lover Of My Soul. I couldn't get enough. I had finally realized after being taken to random places that day that even when things got hard during those different difficult seasons, Jesus  had never stopped pursuing me. Once I finally opened my eyes, I didn't want our date to end. Like I left at 11:00 that morning and didn't get back until almost 5:00 . But that was THE best way I could have spent my last day in TX for the next week. I fly out to New York tomorrow! Such a different life than the one I was living today in peace and quiet, but I am so excited! Eek!

Kickin' In The Macy's Parade

http://www.txstate.edu/news/news_releases/news_archive/2012/November-2012/StrutParade111512.html

We are in the single digits ya'll! I will be flying to New York in THREE days! I can't believe it.
Posted above is the link of an article the school posted about us. Basically lays out the logistics of everything and who we are as a team if you don't know those little pieces of our history.
We are the largest dance team in the nation. -- No wonder Macy's wanted us, eh?
So cool to be a part of something so historic. Over the summer at our camp we learned all about our history and foundations, it's so much more than what I knew I was getting into. So glad some of our school mates get to be exposed to who we are.

Prayers for safe flights to and from as well as while we're in NY are much appreciated.
I don't know if I'll be able to blog during the week that I'm there but I'm sure I will catch yall up when I get back!

For those of you who will be watching/ recording --
If for some reason we get air time while we are just walking down the parade route.. you won't be able to miss me. I stick out like a sore thumb because I'm in a row by myself. Yep, 103 of us and somehow I'm the lucky girl to walk solo style hahaha. Embarrassing, but hey you roll it.
During our performance in the parade I am in the front row of girls in maroon skirts on the far left! No clue what camera angles are going to be like, so just be alert I suppose.

I think that's all I have for now!
Love you all !

All The Single Ladies (and fellas)

This morning was a little cray here at Texas State. We had a bomb threat (shocking), but honestly these are becoming so common it didn't phase me too much haha. -- thank you to all the sweet people who texted and checked up on me! In the midst of all that I came home between classes and had quiet time with the Lord. I really soaked it up today so I felt like I should write since I haven't in a while. I know this really gave me such a revelation and I know it applies to most single (and some not single) chicks (and dudes) out there.

I read the book of Esther. -- what a story! Ladies, and even you boys, if you haven't read Esther.. I would say it's a pretty neat read. Looking back you see that Esther and Xerxes fell in love at just the right time and it was no coincidence. Esther met King Xerxes right when Haman was planning to kill the Jews (which she just so happened to be). Also not a coincidence, Esther was raised by her cousin Mordecai. He had saved King Xerxes a while back which benefited him and the rest of the Jews greatly down the road. He is also responsible for encouraging Esther to approach the King about stopping Haman from wiping out their people. He was her only support system and without this encouragement, Esther never would have approached the King about this issue.
Esther was so brave and did just what her cousin told her to do.. turns out she was "Queen for such a time as this!" AHHHHHHH! In case you didn't get that through my excited yelling, God's perfect plan/ timing was revealed when the King gave her anything she wanted because she was his Queen and she respected him and he was crazy about her (what mutual love!). He also owed Mordecai a favor for saving his life, thus resulting in Haman being killed and her people being saved! ALL BECAUSE OF GOD'S TIMING. None of this would have worked out the way it did if it wasn't precisely set up in that order and fashion. God is so neaaaaaat.

All this to say that this "precise plan" thing is going on in you and me at this very moment.
"See your singleness as a gift and solitude as your time of preparation for a good relationship. It's all about positioning. During her time of preparation, Esther did everything she was taught to do in order to win the eye, admiration and affection of a man she had never met. God positioned her right where she needed to be to win Xerxes heart and save her people. Singlehood is not a death sentence, it's a time of preparation and positioning."

So many people think singleness is such a suckfest, and at times.. yeah, it's just that. I don't think any season of life is going to be all sunshine and rainbows, whether you're single or not, but singleness is also something that is supposed to be used for your benefit and for God's glory. Press into Him. For all of us who claim to be followers of Christ, there is such a distinction between the label "Christian" and having a relationship with the god you claim to follow. He wants a relationship with you.
Modern language talk -- If you're in a relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend you don't just hit them up whenever you need something from them. You want to be with/ talk to this person all the time! You really like this person. That's just how Jesus longs for your relationship to be with Him, boy or girl. No He's not your boyfriend.. but as His child you are in a relationship with Him.

If you claim to love Him, wouldn't you want to spend time with Him?
There's no better time to start than now! He's waitin for ya :)

It's a great day to be a bobcat

Last night was our first home game, which means the first time for the Texas State University Strutters to take the field this football season. We played against Texas Tech in a sold out (new!) stadium--  literally thank God I don't get scared dancing in front of huge crowds anymore, growing up dancing for CBC prepared me for most crowds I'd dance for in my life and now I'm just comfortable. Well, most of the time;)      
 Pre-game the Texas State Strutters and members of our ROTC had the privilege of unfurling the American flag from goal post to goal post. Walking past the crowd you could hear everyone screaming for whatever school they were supporting, but soon all of those chants changed to "USA! USA!" and being able to carry that flag and watch as members of our armed forces flew overhead has never made me feel more patriotic. Strutting out of the tunnel for the first time AND with one of my best friends Taylor was so fun. This was our first time to dance together after years of dancing in the same district!
Right when I made the team everyone would always ask me if I was excited to be a Strutter and I would usually honestly reply with a neutral answer. Most of these people asked me this question during the two weeks of Strutter camp which probably isn't the best time to ask haha. We lost last night, but I came home and was just so happy. Not that we lost, but because I looked back and remembered telling myself in the past that I told myself I didn't want to go to Texas State, I wanted to go to a private school and move somewhere out of Texas. And I remember telling myself that I would probably never try out for Strutters because I didn't want to go through the whole team experience again just because I did it during high school and could check it off my list, but God orchestrated my life and I ended up doing both of those things despite what I had intended to do. So last night after the game I came home and just thought about that and became overwhelmed because I'm exactly where the Lord wants me for such a time as this. This was all His doing and I'm having the time of my life.

We Are

Today is the last day of Summer. Usually I'd be dreading it, but this time I'm actually anxious for school. My life is about to get rolling!

I started off my last day of Summer at church. I met some new people and enjoyed worship. Most of the time worship is where I feel the Lord speak to me the most in a church service. I just love music and I think He knows that. Don't get me wrong, sermons have such a powerful purpose too. Speaking of sermons.. haha in the one I listened to today we read through Matthew 5. At two completely different points of the message, relating to two completely different things, Matthew 5:14 was brought up. "You are the light of the world" // that's talking about us ya'll! 

If you know me you know that I love Kari Jobe so immediately this song started playing in my crazy little head. 

But even more than that, tomorrow is the first day of school (for most of us anyway). For those of us who are in Christ, we are called to be just that.. a light! We hear it all the time but this morning my eyes were opened to a little different perspective. What good is it to be a light in an area that's already lit up? We are called to go out into the world into the areas of darkness so that we can shine that light we've been given. I don't know about ya'll but I am SO excited to get this year rolling and to start things in my new surroundings with new people.

We had a pep rally tonight and now I am relaxing because tomorrow things are going to start to get CRAZY. I have stuff pretty much every day/night of the week. We'll see what the weekend holds..

But anyways, I'm praying for everyone who will be starting school this week. 

I'd love to hear how everyone's first week goes! And to all of the people who have been wanting to hear how my first days go feel free to call me! I love phone calls. And it will probably be easier for me to share with you haha. Tomorrow my only class is Strutters but Tuesday and Thursdays are rough so call me anytime after my classes on Tuesday to get an update.

This is all a little strange starting over as an upperclassmen when most people get that chance as a freshman. It was such a crazy ride up until this point, but I'm extremely thankful all that craziness made me end up where I am now. 

But the Lord says do not cling to events of the past or dwell on what happened long ago. -- watch all the new things He is going to do! Isaiah 43:19 

Harder said than done, but I'm ready Lord!

Life As I Know It

Ahh! I'm horrible at this. My life the past month has been CRAZY. Once I moved into my new place I hit the ground running. I guess I should back track a little bit.
I love love LOVE where I'm living and I love my roommates. We have girls nights and take random night drives together,  typical and how life should be. Shortly after I got things situated at my new home (so thankful for all my parents have done to provide and get me here, love them!) I packed up again and headed to Strutter camp for about 2 weeks. It was kind of a rough start, but things are starting to get much better and enjoyable. I got my Strutter big at camp and she is so cute. We're going to have a lot of fun this year. Camp is also where I got to meet tons and tons of my teammates. If we're friends on facebook you've probably witnessed all of the photos and friend requests, sorry about that haha.

Once that ended I drove to SA to spend time with my friends and say goodbye to everyone that was leaving. We also had some family friends come in town so it was a packed weekend! I loved it. I came back here and started up field practices this week to get ready for football season, woohoo! I have awkward tanlines from being out in the sun, it rocks. Today I audition for our first home game routine, so that should be fun.  I can't believe school starts so soon, it's crazy.

I promise I will try to update as frequently as I can once I get into the swing of things.
Until then, I love visitors! If we're friends and you have my number feel free to hit me up and come on over anytime.

UPCOMING EVENTS FOR STRUTTERS:

*Saturday September 1st - MEET THE STRUTTERS! 
*Saturday September 8th- Texas State vs. Texas Tech
*Saturday September 22nd- Texas State vs.Stephen F. Austin
*Saturday September 29th- Texas State vs. Nevada
*Saturday October 13th- Texas State vs. Idaho
*Saturday November 10th- Texas State vs. Louisiana Tech
*Saturday December 1st- Texas State vs. New Mexico State

I will try to keep you all updated on events open to the public as I hear about them.
Thanksgiving day wake up bright and early and watch us as we open the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York!


Prayers- Right now I would love prayers for financial provision as well as the Lord's direction, wisdom, discernment, joy and peace to live for His name and glory.

I would love to pray for you too! If we are friends/following eachother on other social media you can send me a private message and if you're a viewer from somewhere else feel free to leave a comment with a way that I can contact you.

Some rando people stopped me on the drag and asked if they could take a picture of me for their website.. I found it hahaha. 

Anyways.. 

I MOVE IN TWO WEEKS. There is seriously certain moments when I get so anxious that my body goes crazy on me. It's getting so close! I ordered my comforter the other day - I would have ordered it before but it was out of stock and I knew this one was perfect so I waited, duh- and I spent a couple days in Austin and all of my friends shared their excitement about how close we are going to be now. My dad and I had dinner together tonight and when he prayed over our food he mentioned me leaving and how we wouldn't have meals like that together as much, he hasn't done that before up until this point. It's all starting to feel real! 

I've already started looking for jobs, stressful process. I didn't realize how blessed I was to literally have every job I've ever had handed to me. 

Same goes for churches, I'm not as exposed to a variety of churches in my small town so I'm going to be adventuring for a while until I find my home!

I'm getting nervous for dance camp in two weeks. It should be interesting to see how that goes haha. But I'm super excited to meet my team mates.

Speaking of.. I'M OFFICIALLY GOING TO NEW YORK FOR THANKSGIVING! I'm going to be in the Macy's Parade with my team. I've reserved my spot on the flight and it's a done deal. This has been a concern of mine, but it's going to be so great to see how the Lord provides up until I board that plane. EEEKKK!

Prayers for a great productive and renewing season would be so welcomed! 

Let The Good Times Roll

Sorry I haven't been very consistent on this ya'll..
BUT I will update you on my weekend since I have the chance!
Friday I had a seminar to go to at school so I did that, took care of business and headed to Austin. I am there a lot these days. It's where I like to get away from life for a while. It's the perfect distance where I don't have to be too far away but I'm still not in my usual surroundings.
I had dinner with a friend that I've known forever but we just really clicked at camp this summer so it was great seeing her again. Then I connected with my kindred spirit Layne. We are both busy bees so it's always hard to get together but our time we spend with one another is always so precious to me. We just love on each other so well, I love our friendship.
The next morning I woke up and saw that Ben Rector and I share the same mind and he too thought it would be a good weekend to be in Austin. So since he and I were so close I obviously had to see him.

-we'll get back to that later..

I had lunch on the lake with one of my friends and that was so peaceful and nice to just chill by the water, I loved it. I seriously go into an adventurous mode of a sort whenever I'm in Austin. I have no idea why. Being by the water I decided I wanted to paddle board, paddle boat, kayak and learn how to water ski (probably impossible because my upper body strength is almost non existent).

Back to Ben Rector. Tickets were bought and then, like any dedicated fan I waited. In 100 degree weather. And I perspired.. a lot. It was really cute, believe me. But it was totally worth it when Ben came out. He's one of those artists who can take me back in time. I just love his music. I'm a sucker for those sappy songs for sure.















Afterwards we bombarded him before he went to get his Amy's ice cream. It's what any fan would do people. But we got a picture with him so obviously it was worth it.

Camp 2012

Well apparently people still read this thingy majig haha. I couldn't think of a better thing to write about than my life changing experience at camp. All in all I didn't want to go to camp this summer. I actually wanted to do the opposite and go to Washington to work at a church there, but the Lord made sure I was where He wanted me to be. Two weeks after I made the decision not to go to Washington the person heading up camp called my mom and asked if I would be a counselor because they didn't have enough. There was other aspects and a spiritual battle going on so I told her I would get back to her the next day. That night I prayed and God straight up told me during my quiet time that I was going. Once I knew God had His hand all over it, I was expectant.

I was assigned to 7 girls. I loved them before I knew what they looked like, but they are all absolutely beautiful.
We have a morning and night service every day while at camp and at every night service I bawled. Like hardcore tears. I keep telling everyone I don't know how I produced that many tears for four consecutive days. The Lord has made me more aware of my emotions in the past 2 years. I used to rarely cry but once I started college that has changed haha. But it's such a blessing too. At camp the Holy Spirit was so heavy on and around me that I cried. How many people can say that? One night we saw a reenactment of Jesus being crucified. I've seen countless plays/movies you name it of that event, but this was just so heart wrenching, what was before me may have been an act, but it happened in real life! I got to feel but only a slight glimpse of what the Heavenly Father felt that day when He saw His own son being nailed to a cross. Wow. Thank You Lord for my emotions so that I could experience what You did, even if it was just a little bit. The night we saw Jesus being nailed to the cross I also had the honor of washing 7 precious middle schooler's feet who I had been serving all week. Once again, a wreck. I cried so hard that night I received a lovely headache. It was that intense. The night before, I had my feet washed by my mother. Also sobbed. Jesus washed His disciples feet. These people were undeserving to have their feet washed by a King. Here I was having my feet washed by my mom who is constantly serving me. It was definitely humbling.

The last night we were at camp we had baptisms. That night 6 out of my 7 asked me to baptize them. So awesome! It was an amazing night. Praying that these girls continue to learn and grow so that they can show their Jesus to the world.

The last day of camp one of my girls had a breakthrough. All week long I felt like there were walls built up that I couldn't break down and it was discouraging. The last night during worship one of those walls came down with one of my girls and on the last day we shared a special moment together. Going to camp I had no idea what to expect, but He led me there even if it was just for that moment. He is so faithful!

I think I've already written a Mother's Day blog. Not to say that my mom doesn't deserve one every year. This day will be a constant reminder to me of God's grace. Two years ago, I didn't know if I would have a mom or not because of cancer. God blessed me by letting me keep her a little longer. Just this week my mom went with me to the Doctor while I was being poked with needles. What a supportive mommy, I love her!

Today is also a very important person in my life's birthday. His name is Jordan Jones.
I met Jordan the first summer I moved to Texas. He worked at the summer camp I've gone to since I moved here. He was a lifeguard and he was cool, so naturally everyone wanted to be his friend. He reached out to me and my friend Riana when we were about 8 years old. We were literally the only two people he hung out with, we were inseparable. All the kids would come up and ask if he would come do something with him and he would always ask our approval. *heart melt*

Every summer after the first, Riana and I would get off that bus, find Jordan and run straight to him. Throughout the years he taught me how to be a modest godly woman and he exhibited/ taught me qualities I should look for in a male. One thing I remember he talked to the boys at camp about was being a warrior for God and for the woman that you hold spiritual responsibilities for. He also made me feel so LOVED. One summer when Riana and I were older we left camp, and came home. The usual. Then I started getting multiple phone calls from people who were at the session of camp after me telling me to check the pictures on the Camp website. So I logged on and saw this:

There was about five different pictures of him on the site with this sign. Once again, heart melt. You don't know how much this touched my heart, even to this day. Jordan was/is the ultimate friend and leader in my life. I want to find and marry a man who loves Jesus as passionately as this guy. I look up to him so much.

The past few summers Jordan has not worked at the camp and our attempts to meet up outside of camp have fell through, but there is an opportunity for me to see him this summer! So I'm praying, Lord willing, that it happens. And if not, one of my close friends will be going to school in the town that he lives in, so it's practically inevitable I will get to see him this year and I am SO excited! Happy birthday Jordan Jones, you're amazing!

My prayer for Taylor and I this week

‎I ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory-to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing Him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is He is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life He has for Christians, oh, the utter extravagance of His work in us who trust Him-endless energy, boundless strength!     -Ephesians 1:17-19 

Forever You are Faithful

SURPRISE! I am officially a Texas State Strutter. I say surprise because I barely told a soul I was even trying out haha. I've been praying about whether it's even something I should consider and God wanted me to have some fun next year so He told me "go!" basically at the last minute. I turned in my application in the day it was due which was last week and then this morning I woke up at 6am and drug myself to San Marcos and God had His way. I still don't know quite what to think, I think it all just happened so fast haha. Whether emotions show it or not, I am excited. Not to mention BLESSED! I haven't done that type of dancing/skills/intensity since I was in high school.. which I graduated from two years ago. God obviously wanted me on this team because I was 1 out of the 18 whose number was on that list today.
I started my day out by walking into the gym and being greeted by one of my new recent friends who just so happens to be the captain of the strutters this year and of course my twin Taylor who is also a current strutter officer. I without a doubt had the best tryout experience of all the girls there because of these two ladies. Who else's best friend rushes through their lunch so they have time to go over a dance routine with you? Who else's best friend prays over you before you dance in front of a room of dancers and judges? MINE! MINE! -- I have the best <3
Lesson learned from even these past few blogs alone, if You obey the Lord He will greatly reward you! It may require some sacrifice along the way, you may have to give up something you think is good but if God says no .. listen. He has a million other GREAT things waiting for you!

All the girls whose numbers were on the list were gathered in a hallway then we all walked into a room of screaming strutters hahahaha so fun. After all the tryout craziness Taylor, Lauren and I got some froyo.. for those of you who don't know Taylor she never eats froyo. -- that's a lie. And then I met up with the family in New Braunfels, went to church, and then we grabbed some dinner and dessert with one of my adopted families. (I'm spoiled, I have multiple families that treat me like their own). This is me and my bitesized BFFS. Andie is taking the photo or else she would be in it. Me and the littles were looking at a book of wedding cakes :) I love weddings.
And now .. I AM HOME! It's been a long day. My body is worn out. I'm sore, I have scrapes, I have bruises. BUT this is kind of normal for me, oddly enough.  -- You can see the forming of a nice lil bruise on my knee, let's hope that sucker heals quickly (it probably won't since i'll be dancing on it all week preparing for Easter..) but there's a chance! I also have some awesome toe knuckle bruises.. yes I know, so cute. I have no idea why there's a picture of my bruised knee on here, I just like taking pictures too much apparently. As if that wasn't enough I had a pinched nerve in my neck this morning, I don't think that's ever happened to me before but I got over it haha. This is not all to complain, like I said I'm used to the majority of the aforementioned  things. It's to show how weak I was throughout the day but God carried me through! I've been drilling myself to the ground with school,work and preparation for Easter services next weekend I already went into that tryout worn out and sleepless, but God put me in that situation and He got me through it.
Anyways, people's response to the strutter situation is so sweet! I've gotten messages,texts,comments,likes, you name it. It all means a lot. I'm so thankful for all of you!
Considering I can literally barely move I'm so sore and beat up, I am going to be taking full advantage of my Sabbath tomorrow :) I start a full week of back to back rehearsals and performances on Monday so I have to make sure I'm alive for that hehe.
Hope everyone enjoys their Sunday!

After school today I grabbed lunch with someone I adore. Someone I consider one of my mentors, Meredith Defrees. I love my time with her, I always feel so uplifted afterwards. Even though we don't get to see eachother that often, God truly blesses our time together every time. It's so crazy how we got put into eachother's lives. God knew she was going to be exactly what I needed at a point in time, and that time is now.
Tonight my baby sister made the varsity dance team at her school! My older sister and I were on the same team when we were in high school so our legacy has been passed down. So proud of her, she's such a cute little dancer and she has worked really hard. Glory to God :)

-- disclaimer: this photo was before I lost weight haha

This week sort of went by quickly, I'm not sure where it went. I've been working my tush off on school because I will be living at church next week and I have a busy weekend this weekend as well so I'm just trying to do all of this weeks workload + next weeks ahhh! Overwhelming, but preparations for services like next week have always been something I've enjoyed since I was a little girl. I love the people I work with and spending so much time together doing what we love for someone we love is so great.
I'm going to stop while I'm ahead, praying you all have a great weekend!

All I go through, it leads me to You

March 25th -- on that day 20 years ago I was born. (The number 20 has a ring to it. Even typing it just now gave me the tingles..I'm 20,weird.) Before reaching the age of 20 I have gone through more than some go through in a lifetime. Although most of the things I've "gotten through" don't hold the greatest memories or feelings, one thing that God spoke to my heart at Winter Jam the night before my birthday was all I go through will always lead me closer to Him. Always. If I'm genuinely pursuing to know the Lord's heart and plan for me, the Lord says if we draw near to Him, He will draw near to us. I'm so excited to see what the Lord has in store for the years to come, He definitely keeps me on my toes. In a way I'm thankful for all the yuckiness I've experienced because it truly has gotten me to the point that I'm at. I will never stop growing, learning or maturing. It's an ongoing process.
Thank you to all who made my birthday weekend so much fun. Friends & family I love you all.

Friday a group of friends went downtown to Mi Tierras for dinner. I didn't really want it to be for my birthday, but that idea kind of died when I turned around and the staff from the restaurant started singing happy birthday to me and then handed me cake and balloons.. haha. Regardless of the silliness I'm glad I got to spend time with my friends. It gets harder and harder these days to get us all together.

Saturday is probably what you've all been waiting for. Here's the play by play. Saturday morning Chandler and I went to the AT&T center (wayyyy before the doors were even supposed to open) eventually we got in and with the help of someone who I love dearly -- shout out. Chandler,Taylor,Lauren and I decided the second row was lookin pretty nice. Winter Jam was seriously incredible. I went there only focused on one artist (Kari Jobe), but I ended up getting into almost every artist/band regardless if I had heard them before or not. The atmosphere that night was just amazing. Being surrounded by thousands of people worshiping, it was beautiful. So anyways, some of those bands go on and then we get to a point where someone's like "Kari Jobe is next!" so at that point I literally get nauseous because that means I'm that much closer to getting to meet her. It was quite funny to look back at. I'm ridiculous. Turns out she wasn't next and then I got more upset than nauseous hahahaha so I guess that helped ;). THEN after that band is when my girl Kari came out. AHHHH! She opened with her newest single "We Are" and then sang "Love Came Down" --her version is my favorite ever, then she sang "You Are For Me" -- IN SPANISH! <3 I'm obsessed people. She closed her set with "The Revelation Song" which is what most people (who aren't obsessed like I am) know her by. Ugh it was just so amazing. Throughout the day Kari Jobe's manager had been texting me and it was now time to meet her... I brought my friend Taylor with me and we met up with Kari's manager and he took us back. She signed our posters, took pictures with us and talked to us for a little bit. She told me she liked my perfume and she told me what scent it was without me telling her .. so apparently we have the same taste in perfume. LEGIT. We're obviously supposed to be best friends .. duh. But it was one of the greatest nights of my life. Meeting someone who I've looked up to for so long was indescribable. I am blessed.
   

Sunday (my actual birthday) obviously wasn't as eventful as the two days before, but it was nice. I went out to lunch with the fam and then I had rehearsal for CBC's Easter service. So I got to see a bunch of people I loved as well as do what I love (dance). Later in the day my friend Taylor surprised me with flowers and a card, so sweet. Such a great weekend.

Thank you to all of you for your kind words that I received through facebook,twitter and text. They all meant so much and it was so humbling to get all the messages from people on Saturday who knew I was meeting Kari and knew how excited I was. You sharing in that excitement with me made it all the more exciting. So fortunate to have such amazing people in my life!

Dream Big

I don't even know how I'm able to write this post right now, I've literally been shaking for hours. If you don't know me at all then you probably haven't heard of my dedication to artist Kari Jobe. I've been a fan of hers since before most people knew who she was and I have converted a lot of my closest friends to becoming fanatics too. I say all this because the feeling that some of my friends understand me is just so fun haha. Well, last year I made a friend named Jordan, we found out we were both obsessed with Kari Jobe and we hit it off from there. -- that will come into the picture later. The past few years I've been experiencing hard times left and right. While that time was difficult, things are starting to turn around for me. My future is looking bright and there is joy ahead. In Joshua a story that has continued to stay in my heart weeks after I read it is in chapters 18-21. There were tribes in Israel that had already been given their promised land and 7 tribes were still waiting to receive their share. Joshua had to wait 7 years and experience hardships along the way BUT the Lord was faithful and he received the land he was promised. Joshua 21:45 The LORD promised to do many good things, and He kept his promise every time. This weekend I turn 20 years old. It's a milestone for me. It signifies leaving my 'teen'age years behind and entering adulthood (not sure i'll ever consider myself an adult. I'm 5feet 2inches and still act obnoxious.) This weekend signifies a new beginning for me. Months ago I found out that my role model Kari was going to be in San Antonio the day before my birthday. I knew right then and there I had to do everything in my being to meet her. Well, today marks the day that I start receiving my own personal harvest from the Lord that I've been waiting for. My friend Jordan and I collaborated and came up with a great plan. Jordan took full force and things started rolling. 

Around 1:30 this afternoon I got a notification that Kari Jobe had followed me on twitter.

.... um WHAT!? Probably shouldn't have been checking twitter when I was driving because that was a potentially dangerous situation. I immediately started calling everyone who would even care/ know how much this person meant to me. -- oh it gets better, the Lord withholds  no good thing from those who love Him. Moments later I get a message from  Kari Jobe herself saying she'd love for me to come to her meet and greet at her show this weekend. 

OOOOOHHHH MMMYYY GOOOSSHHH! I've had time to settle down from everything, but that time is insignificant because I clearly have not gotten over it/ calmed down. It's been hours and I'm still shaking and just so excited. Thank you Jordan and thank You Lord! SO EXCITED FOR THIS WEEKEND! What a blessing. 20 is going to be a great year of harvest for me. 

Ruth & Naomi

I'm currently watching the Warshak children. The two youngest are taking their naps and the oldest and I are eating chocolate chip cookies and watching some Curious George so I thought I would have some quiet time. I'm worn out! Today I read the story of Ruth and Naomi. What a sacred bond, I only hope my future mother in law and I have a relationship such as theirs. And then there's Boaz.. After watching a silly youtube video a while back I've been made aware that I am a typical christian girly girl basically down to every last inch. It's hysterical really. So now whenever I think about boaz I can't help but laugh.

It's kind of embarrassing how much stuff I relate to in this video. But it's so true.

Anyways, back to Ruth.. she stayed in a town where she was unloved and unwanted all because it meant being faithful to the Lord. She walked diligently with Him. Because of this God rewarded her .. with BOAZ!!!! <3 Ugh. love it.    If only we knew that following God even though it may seem as though He's leading us into a place we don't want to be, there are blessings (huge ones) waiting on the other end that don't even compare. For me personally there are places/people that make me feel somewhat unloved.I think we all have those, maybe the Lord is calling us to stick it out and do great work in and through those places and people. Maybe, just maybe. 

Stay tuned on that one ;)

This week has been a hard week on the CBC family. The loss of Mason McCoy and today my friend Aaron's cousin who I posted was missing via my twitter a while back was found, and sadly he was not found alive. Sending up prayers of comfort for both of these families. 

   I don't know if any of you are unaware, but I do not sleep very often haha. I actually just have weird sleeping habits, but I've been running myself down the past few days and it caught up with me last night. I went to bed last night and just started feeling awful. In my mind I told myself I didn't have to get up for school in the morning so I could sleep in and wake up feeling better. Once again God took my minuscule plan and decided His was better .. haha! He woke me up at 7am this morning because He apparently wanted to talk. I'm not complaining. One of my relationships with God is that of 'best friends'. He knows EVERYTHING about me, even more than I know about myself. This morning it was like He woke me up by jumping on my bed saying "WAKE UP! I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU!" just like any of our best friends would do.
   I find myself constantly calling upon the Lord because I'm so often weak and in need. This morning He revealed to me that when I call to Him, He will show me things that I don't know. He even gave me a little present by speaking to me through Jeremiah 29 this morning (which just so happens to be the theme chapter for my favorite album right now; Where I Find You) <3
When you search for me with all of your heart, you will find Me. If you seek and look for Me, I will make sure you are not disappointed. When you want it more than anything else, I will reveal myself to You. 

I think the older I get, the more prone I am to want control of my life. I am so OCD when it comes to planning out my life. I'm obsessed with my planner and have to have everything layed out in advance. Unsureness or change of plans drives me up the wall. Well, there are some things in life I can't just plan out right now and God knows I can't and He probably gets a good laugh watching me try to figure things out. This is where my dependence on Him comes from. This life isn't for me and I so frequently lose sight of that. God gave me a calling, I am His instrument put here to do His work. There are some things I want answers for right this minute. It would make my life so much easier, but my hope is in the fact that the Lord has gone before me. He has fast forwarded the video that is my life and He has set everything up and made straight the crooked paths. I have something great waiting for me so I should be fearless of the days to come.

To my husband:

Most of you aren't going to finish this post because it gets long and tedious towards the end. Seriously. Most obnoxious blog ever, but if anyone has ever wanted to get a glimpse inside the sort of things I write in my journal .. here you are.This is for my future husband, so it doesn't really pertain to any of you reading this except maybe one person. Just want my future husband out there to know I'm thinking of him today! <3

First of all, this is all Lord willing I have a husband. My friend Taylor and I joke that we're going to be nuns.. our wish may come true, who knows haha! Yikes.  Anyways..
To my husband, I legitimately have days where I have started to miss you .. and I don't even know if we've met yet. SO strange to me. I've also already started to pray for you. I've prayed for you before, but even more so since the bringing in of 2012. Today is Valentine's day and I'm praying for you all day and even fasting some! You're that important to me. I think I do a pretty good job at making people I care about feel important, and I know that you're going to do the same for me. Not because I ask you to, but because you WANT to! I know you're going to have the sweetest heart.
Looking back on this day, I want you to know how I prayed for you.


I pray that you will recognize when the enemy tries to mess with any part of your life, and that you fight back with full force, letting him gain nothing. Praying 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 over you.
I pray that you will glorify God in every little thing that you do, that you will obey the Lord and that you would serve his people from the genuineness of your heart. Praying John 7:17-18 and Colossians 3:23-24 over you.
I pray that your talents and time are dedicated to our Savior and that they are manifested in your life, career, church and home.
I pray that you are a man of prayer. That is SO important to me. I hope you seek after God and His purpose for you at all times. Praying 1 Thessalonians 5:17, Luke 22:46, and James 5:16 over you.
I pray that you take care of your body by eating healthy and exercising and keep me accountable to do so as well. I think being workout partners/ health freaks together could potentially be fun! (: 1 Cor. 6:19-20 !
I pray that you will stand against satan's attacks and that you would fight for what is right. Be courageous and protect our family against any plans the enemy has. Praying Ephesians 6:13 over you.
I pray that you balance your time wisely. I pray you invest more time with God and your family above anything else.
I pray that if we have kids, that you're a great father; discipling but loving LOTS. I know you will be! Praying Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:21 over you.
I pray that you will submit every detail of your life to the Lord. Learning how to find joy and peace in the stressful times. Praying Proverbs 17:22 and Psalm 16:11 over you.
I pray that you will not get involved in things such as pornography or ANYTHING immoral. Huge make or break it deal for me. I pray that your thoughts consist of whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable.
I pray that you will not be one to get angry easily and that you let God control your responses to difficult situations.Praying Romans 14:19 over you.
I pray that you can see life in an eternal light. That you would reject the materialism of this world and put God first. Praying Matthew 6:33 and Deuteronomy 6:5 over you. 
I pray for your physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual strength. Praying Ephesians 3:16 over you.
I pray that you choose your friends wisely. Choose friends that will encourage your accountability to God, that respect our marriage, that will not lead you to commit any sins. Praying Proverbs 13:20 and Proverbs 27:17 over you.
I pray that you're a man who speaks words of love. Cussing is a mmaajjoorr turnoff for me, and I'm no longer going to look past that aspect in my relationships. I don't want to be surrounded by filth and I sure as heck don't want my children to be. Praying Ephesians 4:29 and Proverbs 18:21 over you.
I pray that you will have wisdom when it comes to financial decisions and that you would not live selfishly and work hard to provide for our family.
I pray that you are a humble servant that desires to do God's will.
I pray that you safely guard your heart against any inappropriate relationships with the opposite sex and that your heart will be fully committed to me as I will be to you.And I pray that your heart is pure.Praying Proverbs 6:23-24 , Proverbs 6:26 and Romans 13:14 over you.
I pray that you honor our wedding vows and constantly look for ways to make it improve.
I pray that you are a man who practices forgiveness. I know we're both going to mess up sometimes so forgiveness is key.Lastly and maybe even most importantly, I pray that you are a spiritual leader for me and for our family.Push me to be a better Christian woman and continually grow in your faith and relationship with the Lord. Never settle for mediocrity.

Yeah so.. I kind of prayed for you a LOT. I love you SO much and can't wait to do fun things together and see how God uses us to better His kingdom.

I got a glimpse into the future, this is us.

HAH! Ok, so this is Kari Jobe and Ryan Edgar buuuut I can dream. It would also be really fun if you danced with me.Those two things are of least importance on my list, I may be able to overlook those ;)

Faithfully yours

When convinced that things, situations, our future have finally met "impossible", could it be the enemy's way of convincing us to cease to try, have hope and to give up on our faith...just sayin'.As hard as it is to wrap our heads around, the fact remains...with God, nothing is impossible. - Sherry Owen 

Yesterday was such a great day.
 God truly is incredible, it's amazing to see how parts of your life line up solely because of Him and Him alone. I don't believe it coincidences, I believe in something so much bigger. 
Last night and today were filled with emotions and  moments of unsure-ness. 
I'm feeling extremely conflicted just with life in general these past couple of days more than most.
I am one who is not too proud to ask for prayer, would you please pray for wisdom for me?
Also, Ian Warshak is still in the hospital PLEASE pray that the Lord restores his health.


Love you friends.

Mixed emotions today.
Yesterday was the CD release of my all time favorite artist/ human being, Kari Jobe.

Yes, I'm so committed I had to go out and buy the actual album.
This CD is a blessing in and of itself. It couldn't have come at a better time in my life, I feel like God "made" this CD for me and my heart. I am so excited for what it's doing in the lives of others as well! Go out and buy it.
Where I Find You.--I will take credit for you becoming obsessed with Kari.
I've converted quite a few of my friends and I am extremely proud of that fact haha. if you aren't already aware .. I am OBSESSED. <3

On the other end of the spectrum of emotions, the husband of the family I babysit for is in the ICU with septic shock and pneumonia. Please join me in lifting up Ian and Denisse Warshak by name today. They are in need of a miracle and a healer, and who better at both of those than our almighty God?






I just got back from watching their three precious children who don't really know what is going on. Please pray for them as well. I know they miss their Daddy seeing as he has been in the hospital.
These children need God's comfort tonight as they sleep.
Thank you friends.