I don't know if any of you are unaware, but I do not sleep very often haha. I actually just have weird sleeping habits, but I've been running myself down the past few days and it caught up with me last night. I went to bed last night and just started feeling awful. In my mind I told myself I didn't have to get up for school in the morning so I could sleep in and wake up feeling better. Once again God took my minuscule plan and decided His was better .. haha! He woke me up at 7am this morning because He apparently wanted to talk. I'm not complaining. One of my relationships with God is that of 'best friends'. He knows EVERYTHING about me, even more than I know about myself. This morning it was like He woke me up by jumping on my bed saying "WAKE UP! I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU!" just like any of our best friends would do.
   I find myself constantly calling upon the Lord because I'm so often weak and in need. This morning He revealed to me that when I call to Him, He will show me things that I don't know. He even gave me a little present by speaking to me through Jeremiah 29 this morning (which just so happens to be the theme chapter for my favorite album right now; Where I Find You) <3
When you search for me with all of your heart, you will find Me. If you seek and look for Me, I will make sure you are not disappointed. When you want it more than anything else, I will reveal myself to You. 

I think the older I get, the more prone I am to want control of my life. I am so OCD when it comes to planning out my life. I'm obsessed with my planner and have to have everything layed out in advance. Unsureness or change of plans drives me up the wall. Well, there are some things in life I can't just plan out right now and God knows I can't and He probably gets a good laugh watching me try to figure things out. This is where my dependence on Him comes from. This life isn't for me and I so frequently lose sight of that. God gave me a calling, I am His instrument put here to do His work. There are some things I want answers for right this minute. It would make my life so much easier, but my hope is in the fact that the Lord has gone before me. He has fast forwarded the video that is my life and He has set everything up and made straight the crooked paths. I have something great waiting for me so I should be fearless of the days to come.

To my husband:

Most of you aren't going to finish this post because it gets long and tedious towards the end. Seriously. Most obnoxious blog ever, but if anyone has ever wanted to get a glimpse inside the sort of things I write in my journal .. here you are.This is for my future husband, so it doesn't really pertain to any of you reading this except maybe one person. Just want my future husband out there to know I'm thinking of him today! <3

First of all, this is all Lord willing I have a husband. My friend Taylor and I joke that we're going to be nuns.. our wish may come true, who knows haha! Yikes.  Anyways..
To my husband, I legitimately have days where I have started to miss you .. and I don't even know if we've met yet. SO strange to me. I've also already started to pray for you. I've prayed for you before, but even more so since the bringing in of 2012. Today is Valentine's day and I'm praying for you all day and even fasting some! You're that important to me. I think I do a pretty good job at making people I care about feel important, and I know that you're going to do the same for me. Not because I ask you to, but because you WANT to! I know you're going to have the sweetest heart.
Looking back on this day, I want you to know how I prayed for you.


I pray that you will recognize when the enemy tries to mess with any part of your life, and that you fight back with full force, letting him gain nothing. Praying 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 over you.
I pray that you will glorify God in every little thing that you do, that you will obey the Lord and that you would serve his people from the genuineness of your heart. Praying John 7:17-18 and Colossians 3:23-24 over you.
I pray that your talents and time are dedicated to our Savior and that they are manifested in your life, career, church and home.
I pray that you are a man of prayer. That is SO important to me. I hope you seek after God and His purpose for you at all times. Praying 1 Thessalonians 5:17, Luke 22:46, and James 5:16 over you.
I pray that you take care of your body by eating healthy and exercising and keep me accountable to do so as well. I think being workout partners/ health freaks together could potentially be fun! (: 1 Cor. 6:19-20 !
I pray that you will stand against satan's attacks and that you would fight for what is right. Be courageous and protect our family against any plans the enemy has. Praying Ephesians 6:13 over you.
I pray that you balance your time wisely. I pray you invest more time with God and your family above anything else.
I pray that if we have kids, that you're a great father; discipling but loving LOTS. I know you will be! Praying Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:21 over you.
I pray that you will submit every detail of your life to the Lord. Learning how to find joy and peace in the stressful times. Praying Proverbs 17:22 and Psalm 16:11 over you.
I pray that you will not get involved in things such as pornography or ANYTHING immoral. Huge make or break it deal for me. I pray that your thoughts consist of whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable.
I pray that you will not be one to get angry easily and that you let God control your responses to difficult situations.Praying Romans 14:19 over you.
I pray that you can see life in an eternal light. That you would reject the materialism of this world and put God first. Praying Matthew 6:33 and Deuteronomy 6:5 over you. 
I pray for your physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual strength. Praying Ephesians 3:16 over you.
I pray that you choose your friends wisely. Choose friends that will encourage your accountability to God, that respect our marriage, that will not lead you to commit any sins. Praying Proverbs 13:20 and Proverbs 27:17 over you.
I pray that you're a man who speaks words of love. Cussing is a mmaajjoorr turnoff for me, and I'm no longer going to look past that aspect in my relationships. I don't want to be surrounded by filth and I sure as heck don't want my children to be. Praying Ephesians 4:29 and Proverbs 18:21 over you.
I pray that you will have wisdom when it comes to financial decisions and that you would not live selfishly and work hard to provide for our family.
I pray that you are a humble servant that desires to do God's will.
I pray that you safely guard your heart against any inappropriate relationships with the opposite sex and that your heart will be fully committed to me as I will be to you.And I pray that your heart is pure.Praying Proverbs 6:23-24 , Proverbs 6:26 and Romans 13:14 over you.
I pray that you honor our wedding vows and constantly look for ways to make it improve.
I pray that you are a man who practices forgiveness. I know we're both going to mess up sometimes so forgiveness is key.Lastly and maybe even most importantly, I pray that you are a spiritual leader for me and for our family.Push me to be a better Christian woman and continually grow in your faith and relationship with the Lord. Never settle for mediocrity.

Yeah so.. I kind of prayed for you a LOT. I love you SO much and can't wait to do fun things together and see how God uses us to better His kingdom.

I got a glimpse into the future, this is us.

HAH! Ok, so this is Kari Jobe and Ryan Edgar buuuut I can dream. It would also be really fun if you danced with me.Those two things are of least importance on my list, I may be able to overlook those ;)

Faithfully yours

When convinced that things, situations, our future have finally met "impossible", could it be the enemy's way of convincing us to cease to try, have hope and to give up on our faith...just sayin'.As hard as it is to wrap our heads around, the fact remains...with God, nothing is impossible. - Sherry Owen 

Yesterday was such a great day.
 God truly is incredible, it's amazing to see how parts of your life line up solely because of Him and Him alone. I don't believe it coincidences, I believe in something so much bigger. 
Last night and today were filled with emotions and  moments of unsure-ness. 
I'm feeling extremely conflicted just with life in general these past couple of days more than most.
I am one who is not too proud to ask for prayer, would you please pray for wisdom for me?
Also, Ian Warshak is still in the hospital PLEASE pray that the Lord restores his health.


Love you friends.