Lord I find You in the seeking, Lord I find You in the doubt.

This week I learned that Sarah from the Bible and I have something in common,
we're restless in the wait 

When God promised her and Abraham that He would give them a child, even at their old age, she got tired of waiting and tried to take matters into her own hands. I catch myself doing that, a lot. 
Sarah, who tired of waiting for her child to be conceived, told her husband to sleep with their slave thinking that she could start a family through the slave. Well, once their slave became pregnant Sarah was pissed. -- So obviously taking things into her own hands turned out well. Not.
Even after Sarah pulled that move, the Lord kept His promise to Abraham and Sarah and gave them a child. He who promises is always faithful, even now.

I desire the day when I will not tire of waiting for the Lord to carry out His plan.
I desire the day when I won't try to take matters into my own hands and I surrender all control.

Father, please turn my restlessness into rest

Being in a season of waiting, I asked the Lord to wait with me.
I asked Him to sustain my faith       and He gave me this today. (via Jesus Calling)

"Keep walking with Me along the path I have chosen for you. I could instantly grant you the spiritual riches you desire, but that is not My way for you. Together we will forge a pathway up the high mountain. The journey is hard and you are weak. Some day you will dance lightfooted on the high peaks, but for now, your walk is often heavy. All I require of you is to take the next step, clinging to My hand for strength and direction. Though the path is difficult and the scenery is dull at the moment, there are sparkling surprises just around the bend. Stay on the path I have selected for you. It truly is the path of life."

The Life of a Nanny

I'm not sure what the technical definition of a nanny is.
I like to think that it's someone who holds more responsibilities than just a babysitter. Someone who works longer hours and has cleaning the house, washing the dishes, feeding the dogs (as well as the kids) on their job description.
My idea of what a nanny is being said, the Lord opened up an incredible opportunity in my little college town this summer and I have been training to be a nanny for a little girl here. "Training to be a nanny..?" you ask. -- Yep. As much experience with children that I've had, most people that come into this job have to have training, why? The girl that I'm working with has epilepsy.
Not only did I have to be trained on what to do when she has seizures, she has what feels like hundreds of meds that she has to take throughout the day, she has a very strict diet and I have to count all of the carbs that she eats (if she goes over a certain number of carbs that could set off her seizures), she can't be exposed to heat for very long (can also set off seizures), she has a service dog and I occasionally take her to therapy. WHEW! So yes, I've been training.

Today was my first day with her all by myself, and I'm not going to lie..I was nervous. This girl can throw fits if something isn't going her way. It's hard, it's really hard. Don't get me wrong, she's the biggest cuddle bug when she wants to be. (see photo) for a part of today she laid on me and wrapped her arms around mine while we watched the same episode of Blue's Clues.. three times.
- She is special needs and has repetitive tendencies. She is ten but has the brain development of a five year old.
As a Special Education major, this job was so fitting. I'm learning so much and getting to experience some of the things that I've learned about in some of my classes in my field already.
This job is teaching me patience..oh, is it teaching me patience. I often have to check my heart to make sure that my discipline is out of good intentions and doesn't come from a place of frustration.
It's also teaching me trust. Took a big leap accepting this job and an even bigger one starting on my own today. I didn't want to go on my own out of fear of messing up, but this weekend when I was at my home church in San Antonio the message was on work and how you should go for it and just try your best. Granted somebody's life is in my hands, but I didn't think I was at the point of risking her life haha so I jumped. Had to remind myself that I am confident and covered by the power of His great love.

If anyone out there is needing that extra push..
here it is.

JUMP.

pArTy In ThE uSa

Oh this fourth of July was wonderful.
Such fun times; baking, pool parties, walking the streets of Austin, eating snowcones until our tongues changed colors [patriotic colors I might add], downtown adventures, whole foods and fireworks.

I am so blessed and proud to be an American.
Thank You Lord for allowing me to live in a place where I am so privileged with what I have.
What a gift to be able to worship my god freely.
Dang. God bless America.




"I'm proud to be an American
where at least I know I'm free."