As a Child of God

I've always had an understanding for young girls because well, I was one at some point and I know what a dark and messed up world we are brought up in. A lot of the times it's hard to see the light.
The way I've been raised and the situations and trials God has put me in have all molded me. They have also made me grow up very quickly. While this may be true, I still have an immense amount of growing to do.

Girls ; hopeless romantics . God created us as an object of His love. He also created us to crave that love. The thing is, often times we go searching for what we're craving in all of the wrong places. Time and time again we will come up empty and heartbroken and wonder what the heck happened. Even still, it could seem like we are still focused on our Father but He may still just want more from us. And He deserves it!

Tip for the Gentleman - Be just that to a woman you are trying to pursue. a GENTLE.MAN.  If you haven't noticed, God created girls completely different than boys. We are emotional human beings. With that, we are fragile. You may be macho and tough, but truth is most women aren't. It's just something you can notice in behaviors just by watching. We both react to situations totally different. If you are a christian guy trying to pursue a pure christian girl, please realize what a jewel you are about to chase after. Do not take that quest lightly.

Girls, DO NOT SETTLE. I cannot tell you how many times I see people posting "Gosh, I wish I had a boyfriend" or even, yes we've all seen it .. girls chasing after other people's boyfriends. First of all, do not be either girl. Whining is not attractive and neither is portraying yourself as a slut.   - Speaking of how you carry yourselves, as a woman we are designed to illuminate the majesty of Christ with our beauty. If you go back to Genesis and look at Eve, she was the crown of creation. As a woman, YOU ARE THE VERY ESSENCE OF BEAUTY. That's how God made us ladies. Don't tarnish what God created you to be. Don't be the girl who tries to attention or tries to make your ex-boyfriend "see what he's missing" because that too will just make you look like a fool. Back to not being one to settle.. set standards. Don't change them for anyone. We are God's chosen Princesses and there IS, believe it or not, a guy out there who is going to treat you like a God fearing man should, wait for him.

Guys, secret to scoring a beautiful Godly woman? Being a Godly man. - Now there's a shocking concept. Also, Song of Solomon 2:7 tells us (yes men, you too) "Do not awaken or arouse love before its proper time."  Do yourself and the girl you're about to seek a favor and do not go after her until you are ready to accept all that comes with being in a relationship.Simply put. Just don't. - When God tells your heart and mind the time is right, date her as a man of God. YOU go and ask her out. YOU open every door she comes in contact with so she doesn't have to. YOU pay for the date. YOU pray over her when the date is done. As a man, you are a leader. Not being a leader (and a godly one at that) is a major turnoff. If God makes you lucky enough to be able to take her out again, you treat her like the Princess God made her throughout the duration, whatever that may mean. And for crying out loud, do not try to get in her pants. - I know for a fact not all guys are like that, I've come across plenty classy men in my day so don't use your gender as an excuse. I'm not classifying all guys as people that would do something like that because I know they're not. Thank you to the awesome examples in my life who are still teenagers and setting the bar high.

On that note,- I'll give the guys a break- girls we take on some responsibility too. If guys are going to have to take on the role of being a godly gentleman to be with us, we have to help them out. Be that Proverbs 31 woman. Also, don't purposefully tease or tempt a guy. I know sometimes we do things without realizing, we really need to be more conscious as a gender the message we are sending across the boys of our generation. Do not show off all of your goodies, nobody wants to see that .. thank you. Be classy ladies! We are so much better than that. I know sometimes there's situations that even I go through. My size makes it extremely difficult to find clothes that fit me correctly, but it's straight up noticeable when you're trying to get attention. sorry.
Boys, there is something about girls and their image.. I couldn't tell you what our problem is. It could very well have to do with the media telling us what is socially acceptable. I don't know. Whether she is your girlfriend, friend, or somebody you don't even know .. do NOT comment on her weight unless it is something flattering and genuine. You have no idea what it does to a girl's self esteem.
Girls, I know you all watched the Victoria's Secret fashion show last night. Please do not think you have to be exactly like them. God truly did create you beautiful and in His image.

This is often times the case, and so many of us want to try to be what we think is "beautiful".

I don't really have the guy's side to this because I'm a girl, so don't get all butthurt ;) haha guys I am welcome for comments or private messages, so lay 'em on me. I'd love to know what you have to say.

Whoever you are, girl OR boy .. you are worth the wait and God made you precious.

He has a plan for all of us, be patient and faithful to His calling for you. 

For those of you who don't know, I made my decision and I am transfering to a school in Texas and staying nearby. A lot has been going on recently and my life is changing. As freaking scary as it is I am embracing it for the new season God has placed upon me and have to try to feel more excited than scared. That's really difficult at this point, but I'm trusting in God's greater plan.
I can always use prayers and encouragement! Like a lot of it haha.
Thank you to the few people who know what is going on and have given me wisdom and reassurance.

I love you all and will hopefully be back to writing on this thing more now, I've missed it!

peace and blessings

Oral Roberts University College Weekend Day 1

By God's divine appointment with the Brown family, I am up at Oral Roberts this week/weekend. It was so exciting being back in the OK. I never knew I could be so excited to see Braum's or Quiktrips.. but I was! And I'm so glad to be back. After a long day of getting here, Katherine and I checked in. The people at ORU are crazy energetic and sweet. After checking in, we went to orientation and took a tour and made some new friends and we all adventured around for a while. Then we met up with the people we'll be living with. Katherine and I got separated. I am rooming with three other girls and I am the one white girl, I love it. haha. My roomies are so sweet. After getting settled in, we went and grabbed dinner then rushed over to the ORU talent show, and all day I had my mind set that I wanted to go to the night chapel tonight. So I ran over to that after the talent show and oh my goodness..  a solid hour and a half of just pure worship non stop. That's it. Just worship. It was AMAZING. I have never seen so many people become undignified before the Lord on stage. The worship leaders danced and their joy was contagious and the Lord was there! I really wish I could have that worship experience everywhere I go.  

I had hands layed on me and was prayed over in different languages more than once tonight. It was such a cool experience. [Letter back home: after having hands layed on me, they played How He Loves and they used the sloppy wet kiss version.] <3  Anywho.. after that we came back to the dorm and had devotionals with some of the girls on our floor who go to school here which was really nice. I love the atmosphere here. Everywhere you go people are in love with God, I'm so not used to that and it's very comforting. Every little thing deserves a "Thank You Jesus!" or "God is so good to me!" - can't tell you how many times I've heard those over the littlest things. It makes me happy.    

Anyways, it's 2am and I have a meeting at 7:30am haha WHOOPS.
I promised some people a blog while I was here so I'm going to try to come through.
It's freezing here, it was in the 40's and I do not like it, but other than that I am so grateful / thankful for this experience. I'm having a blast.

Next week I will be in Oklahoma adventuring the world of Oral Roberts University. 

This was my dream school when I was little, back when I wanted to be a Doctor .. haha a lot has changed since then and there are still changes to be made. Please pray for me on this trip that God would reveal His plan and desires for me. I have no idea how busy I will be up in the OK, but I'm going to try to blog some if I can! I haven't been doing that very much and I figured that would be the perfect opportunity.

Until then, please keep me in your thoughts and prayers! 

I don't really write on here much anymore, but my heart is hurting this morning. I woke up to find that one of my high school team-mate's and fellow daughter of a breast cancer fighter's mom passed away last night.  It's sort of surreal because this woman was one of the reasons that sparked my heart for breast cancer fighters, it's sort of a cool story.  If none of you know, breast cancer has been hereditary in my family. My Grandma passed away from it when I was young, so I didn't really understand much then.   In high school I met Amy. We danced together and she was the sweetest girl. One day I found out that her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Something tugged on my heart and I got a group of my friends together and we went out and bought a bucket and filled it with everything pink that we could find and we gave it to Amy and her mom. - That was just the beginning. My senior year MY mom was diagnosed. Amy came running to my rescue and would constantly send me messages checking on my mom and one of my childhood friends who also fought cancer. She would even send me encouraging words to lift my spirits.   Amy's mom has been fighting for so long, and she has been fighting so hard, I can just tell from the way Amy talks about her that she was going to put up a fight.She was strong. The Lord decided she had been through enough and He took her home last night to a place where CANCER IS NO MORE. I hate the feeling of loss and can't even imagine what the family is going through, but there is always the assurance of knowing that she is not suffering anymore and she is enjoying her new cancer free life, and for that I am thankful. Because cancer sucks.

Amy if you read this, I love you and I can't express how proud I am of you for being such an amazing support system for your mom and for other's like me.   Your story is going to touch hearts in ways you can't even imagine. We'll always have a different bond and I thank God for our friendship. <3

God seems to be slowly stripping pieces of my life away in order to help me find my identity. It's hard. It's really hard, but I am so ready for God to just show me His plan for me, even if it's little by little. I am praying that I am pursuing His righteousness above all else. I am distancing myself from some people and drawing nearer to others who I feel are good influences and/or sources of wisdom for me.
As far as what the Lord wants for my future, I feel like I am supposed to teach. The thing is I want to teach so many things, elementary school, dance, teach others about Jesus, reach out to special needs. MY HEART IS SO BIG ! How can I do all of these ? Am I supposed to choose just one? or two? LORD HELP ME! I know if I will draw near to Him He will draw near to me and make it clear. I'm praying for that.
Another thing, since I've been about 10 years old Africa has been on my heart. SINCE I WAS 10! I have yet to go, and even as I turn 20 in about 5 months [that's so weird..], my passion has not been extinguished. Praying the Lord shows me what I'm supposed to do with my sincere love for Africa and its people.

I know a lot of us in college are still in this position even as we're well into school, praying for all of us who earnestly seek Him for the best in our lives and wait on Him. BE BLESSED!

Had a nice little weekend in Austin. ^This is what I drooled over this morning. I love the sky, God gets so creative with it. I barely slept a wink last night, but getting to see this was perfect. It started my day off in a great way.    

Let's see.. Saturday was game day for UT so the town was covered in orange. I went tailgating and hungout with some friends. They are precious and are so good to me. We had some fun adventures together this weekend for sure.


After starting my day off wonderfully by witnessing such a wonderful sunrise over the earth, I went to church with Ben at The Austin Stone. Worship was good. There were a few lines here and there that touched my heart, THEN we got to the message and the Pastor seemed oddly familiar. Turns out he was a pastor both Ben and I had in middle school in San Antonio. SO weird haha. We got the chance to talk to him for a second and share our weird discovery which was cool. That added a fun little aspect to church today haha. After our totally bizarre encounter with our middle school pastor, we grabbed some yummmmy breakfast. Then I got to spend time with another Austin resident, miss kim carson and now I'm back in the home land haha. It was a nice little escape for a couple days.