valentine's blog take two

A few years ago I wrote a Valentine’s Day blog. I was semi- newly single and I was definitely still young, as I am today. If you didn’t read it, it was basically a list of a million things I want(ed) my future husband to be. I still think about that list a lot and I came to a point where I’ve realized some of those things on that list have changed, and even the fact that I made a list makes me feel silly and probably drives away any guy from ever liking me..like ever. I'm actually going to start a personal list of things I can work on myself to be a better counterpart when the time comes.

My view of relationships has changed since then. I've learned a ton about these things called grace and trust and how beautiful they are. Between learning from my parents and watching One Tree Hill, I’ve learned to pick your battles. Sometimes you just let the other person have their way because you love them. I’ve also learned more about forgiveness and how majority of the time people don’t deserve it, but you forgive them anyways.. ya know, like Jesus did for us.

Finding someone who exhibits everything on that list would be wonderful, but I’ve realized it’s also a list almost impossible to achieve, so I’ve prepared for that. It’s awesome to dream big and as girls we’re constantly being told not to settle, but if you’re expecting perfection no guy is going to have that. It has taken me a really long time to grasp that last part.

My life, interests and heart have changed. I’ve always loved music, and before I would be happy with a guy who would just listen to music with me, but now I have a desire for someone who will make music with me which is sort of new. In my past relationship that’s what I had and I never knew that was something I desired, but since then I’ve started making music with my friends more and I realized how much dating someone who was musical themselves just made sense – but it’s still not a non-negotiable. If I love someone and they don’t play music, but they support me when I do, then right on.

I’ve also turned 21 since I wrote that blog! And while smoking certain things is still completely out of the question, I wrote about drinking before I had been truly exposed to it. My parents have been such great examples when it comes to that. I rarely see them drink and when I do it’s not a big deal because it doesn’t change who they are. I waited until I was 21 to drink and I’ve realized that you can drink without getting drunk! It’s neat. Drinking still isn’t my favorite thing, I don’t do it often and I definitely don’t want a relationship to be centered around something like that but I definitely have a different view of it now.

something I think silly things like, “I hope he likes sushi!” and  “I hope he doesn’t mind that I’m going to want to take a picture with him all the time so I never forget a moment” overall I’m just stuck in a state of wonder, and I think that’s a cool place to be.

At my age, I’m in a season where my friends are getting engaged, married and even having babies and I am genuinely happy for them which is such a great feeling; to not be jealous, bitter or upset like I probably would have been a few years ago. I’m a hopeless romantic, so I light up when it comes to love, but the Lord has been so good to get me to a place where I’m happy with where I’m at and I don’t bash other people’s love life. I’m happy for them and I’m happy for me. I love being in a place where I'm not completely lost and lonely without a relationship because I have such a great Father, family and friends who are working over time to love me - so while I'm waiting things are good and I'm having a fun time loving them too. Thankful that I’m growing and learning every day.

Praying for all of you who have a hard time when it comes to Valentines day, that your heart wouldn’t be hardened, that you would feel happiness in place of sadness, that you would spur others on in love. Happy Valentine’s Day Friends J