Love wins in the end

thankful that none of my mistakes have made my God love me any less. thankful that God's grace is bigger than any sin that I may commit. thankful that no matter how far I stay, when I turn to back to find Him after I've lost my way - He's right where I left Him waiting for me with open arms.

thankful for little justin bieber and his talent portrayed through music that can get me dancing and happy like none other. thankful for the life he speaks to his fans telling them to follow their dreams and believe in themselves and even posting truth and scripture from time to time.

ya see, it's been a hard week in the life of justin bieber and sometimes I forget how this whole sin thing works and often think what other people do is worse than anything I could ever do, why can't they just be a better christian like me..right?

WRONG. that's what satan wants me to believe. it's called pride - and it's a sin too.
 well here I am on a public blog calling myself out - I get prideful from time to time (I'd like to think I'm not the only one). but when I sit back and think about it, the fact that I can well up with pride and think that my sins are less than anyone else's is a lie, not to mention cRaZy. Romans 3:10 says that none are righteous .. no, not a single one of us. So before you start saying hurtful things about justin or whoever else in your life, think about that. I'll do my best to do the same. It's not easy.  Romans 3:1-20 is an awesome passage about how we're all pretty messed up, good reminder that we're all human and do some 'not so smart things', and some of us have more spotlight on those 'things' and it amplifies the problem even though it's not worse than if someone who wasn't famous would have done it. it's bad, bottom line.


"aren't you a little old to be a belieber? and you're supporting someone who just got a DUI.....ok."    // I know it's what some of you are thinking. yes, I'm a fan of the biebs, and I am most certainly not saying his behavior is ok. I'm in no way supporting getting a DUI or any of his other fall outs that he has had lately. AT ALL, actually. I'm just supporting the Biblical principle of GRACE and forgiveness.

The Lord looks at all of our sins the same, no sin is bigger than another and the greatest news? God's grace is big enough to cover them ALL.

our Father HATES when we sin. it hurts Him, a lot. but even though we mess up from time to time He loves us (the same amount of love before we sinned, HIS LOVE NEVER CHANGES EVEN IF WE SCREW UP). our Father loves it when we repent and turn from our sins. we're all going to mess up again, it's inevitable. now don't do it on purpose, that's like intentionally wanting to hurt someone's feelings -- because that's exactly what it is. but know that you're not ever too far from God for Him to forgive you and bring you back. He's really nice like that.

yes, after all of this mess I'm still a belieber.
people make jokes, but every time I force someone to watch a justin bieber movie with me -- they get chills or teary eyed or sing along to a song (or all of them) because you just can't help it. it stinks hearing some males who constantly bash justin because the ladies dig him and he's more successful than them. yes he does deserve the position he's in, he works hard and despite some people's beliefs I (and obviously plenty of other people) think he is gifted in what he does. looking past some crazy decisions, this kid is a fellow believer in Jesus Christ, we should be loving him! it's inspiring to me to see a little boy born from a teen mother who started out playing his guitar on the side of the street sell out Madison Square Garden as a teenager. God can/ will do the craziest things through the most unlikely people.



this may be silly, but it's what was on my heart today.
hope you never forget that God's grace can outdo your past

hate may win some battles, but Love wins in the end 

I'm letting go [falling into You]

my parents told me to keep writing blogs this year.. so here i am.

I feel like I haven't been writing as much or as transparent as I would in years past, part of that due to me hearing a voice in the back of my head saying "that's too deep/emotional"  "don't post that, it's going to offend someone"  "don't hit that publish button because your post isn't good enough" (and partially because any free time I do have is not spent writing)
But I'm taking advantage of this whole new year thing and leaving some insecurities, things that have emotionally/ mentally destroyed me and everything that has held me back in 2013 where they belong. My 2014 doesn't have the time or space for any of that.

Steffany Gretzinger said it best :
"We were made in the image of the most radical human being to walk the planet. WE were born to be radical, we were born to offend -- not on purpose, but the way we live our lives should offend anyone that opposes Jesus."


She spoke that straight to my heart last night whether she knew it or not and I hope it speaks to someone else's.
I'm not going to be quiet about the dark seasons of my life - the Lord uses those to touch/change other people as much as they did for me. Testimonies are powerful and God doesn't give them to us to hide under a bushel.

I'm going to intentionally look for those moments when I could be called 'radical' for doing something that honors the Lord instead of fearing of hurting someone's feelings who doesn't see Jesus or life the way I do.[ this is going to be hard for me ]
 If it makes Him happy, I want to do more of that.

Which leads me to my plans.. everyone gets asked about their future up until they're finally in their big boy/girl job. Well, I was planning on graduating this May with people my age but that has recently changed. This past fall semester was probably my hardest as I was taking a block [teaching at a high school] ,taking additional courses, making friendships last, doing things Young Life leaders do on top of leading worship multiple nights out of the week and trying not to miss my little sister's big moments of her senior year in high school back home. I didn't sleep much, I probably didn't eat much or breathe much either -- I don't really even remember. But the crazy thing is, I did so much but have recently been convicted by a dear friend that I still missed some important things on my "to do" list.
So what does this mean for me? This means I'm going to try to keep myself healthy and SANE this semester. I toned down the amount of hours I'm taking because I refuse to tone down the amount that I put into Young Life / important relationships. Throughout my life I've heard numerous people tell me/ other people "School needs to be the number one focus" but this has never come out of the mouth of my parents. My parents encourage(d) me and all of my sisters to do well in school, they care just like every good parent should and they wouldn't just let us get by if our grades were slipping, but they never made my world revolve around academics and I feel sorry for whoever's parents do. I make good grades, and yes having an education is important -- I believe that, I'm in school to be a teacher! But that's not all there is to life. My parents didn't rob me of my whole social life or just flat out ruin my life for academics. There would be days that I couldn't play with friends because they thought I should work on homework but those days were so few (and I still ended up being ok!). My parents, and recently my church, have taught me to focus on the things that are eternal and long-lasting. This does not mean being careless by any means. This means I'm enjoying this season of being a college Young Life leader and I'm going to continue working really hard at being a good leader/ sister/ role model/ light of Jesus for a group of high school girls who are so precious to me. This means that those life long friendships I've made at Texas State are special and deserve time, attention and care - not a friend who is unavailable,grumpy or too tired to listen. Friendships are super important to me, I don't let go of them easily and my heart is to put so much love into every relationship I'm a part of. I find happiness in knowing that I maintain friendships I've had since I was in elementary school. Things like that are a part of me.

"For every real relationship, this is the thing: 
Without the fuel of time there is no fire of intimacy." ~ Ann Voskamp

These things need time. I need time. Time to not let my anxiety flare up, time to be healthy and not completely stressed, time to figure out more about who Jesus wants me to be and time to get poured into spiritually so I don't run dry  - because the day will come when I get that big girl job (whatever it may be) and I won't get this sacred "time" back. I don't think God calls us to be stressed, but I do think He calls us to work hard and excel in what we do..so that's where I'm at. Right now the plan is to continue classes this this semester, this summer/ next fall and then student teach next spring. I can walk the stage before or after student teaching, but I haven't decided which one yet (walking the stage with my younger friends in the spring sounds really tempting). I've got some other things in the works for this year, so we'll see how they work out. I want to travel more, I'm also going to start praying about Africa more as I feel the time for me to go is definitely coming closer- it has been popping up all throughout my life lately and I really want the wisdom to know when/how He wants me to go..because I know He wants me to . You can join me in praying for that if you like :)           

I'm already walking into this new year with a new-found confidence that only comes with my journey of uncovering a different piece of who I am in Him each day, and this blog post is proof of that. I'm getting back on my feet after a few years of a whirlwind and I'm coming out on the other end with so much favor. I pray that whoever is reading this and needs the strength to let go of something that's holding them back would receive it.
2014 is a year to be radical, fanatical, crazy for You, Jesus.


"We determine how much influence we'll have when we decide how available we'll be.  
Be extravagant with your time." - Bob Goff

a new year; a new song

2013 was CrAzY. I retired from dance and jump started being a Young Life leader where I've made some of my dearest college friends.
The Lord's favor in my life was so evident in 2013 and I am believing that His favor will carry over to 2014 exceeding what I experienced this past year.

Lots of new friendships were made, lots of photos were taken, lots of roads were traveled, lots of concert tickets were purchased, lots of songs were sung.    Oh, and I turned 21 which is always nice.

2013 I became a fan of Katy Perry with the release of her song Roar. Before that I wasn't necessarily into her music, but now it's a completely different story. For me, I see Roar as a statement about finding your identity in the Lord and not in a man or the crazy world we live in. This is one song I am singing over 2014.
My friend's little sister and I were messing around the other day and decided to record our version of the song -- you can check it out here if you want!

I brought in the new year with a new hair-do. I donated 12inches of my hippie hair in honor of my friends/ family being affected by cancer right now. I seriously think the Lord gave me a gift, if that's what you would call it, when it comes to growing hair so that I could do things like this. I LOVE my hair (most of the time), I've never dyed it in my life besides crazy colored streaks under my hair when I'm feeling wild. I tell people often that I feel a bit like Samson in the Bible when Delilah has a man cut his hair  #christiangirlproblems  haha -- I'm so attached to my hair (literally and emotionally haha) so it's definitely hard watching people cut it off, but it's painful in the best way. I've walked through the cancer journey with friends and family who have lost their hair.. I've been on that end so I know what a blessing Locks of Love is and I would be crazy not to be a part of this with my hair growing at the rate that it does. 

This haircut is a reflection of me, a new me. This year I'm going to receive more confidence, I'm going to stop letting my past steal joy from my future, I'm going to sing..a lot and laugh.. a lot, I'm going to worry less and pray more, I'm going to accept the offer that Jesus gives me every day to be free from emotional bondage/ baggage. I'm going to love Jesus above all. 

2014 is off to a great start .. WHEE!